Content warning: This story addresses suicide and other mental health issues and may be difficult to read and emotionally upsetting. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide or is in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 or at 988lifeline.org.
In a new documentary, former Texas A&M and Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel says he attempted suicide in the months after the Cleveland Browns cut him in 2016.
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In Netflix’s “Untold: Johnny Football,” the 2012 Heisman Trophy winner said following the 2015 season, he began using OxyContin and cocaine daily and dropped from 215 pounds in January to 175 in September.
Manziel faced a misdemeanor assault charge after being accused of hitting and threatening his then-girlfriend in January 2016, with his lawyers eventually reaching an agreement with officials to dismiss the charge upon set conditions.
The Browns cut him in March 2016, and Manziel says he was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
“The wires in my head seemed very twisted,” Manziel says.
He twice refused to enter rehab, and Manziel says he began self-sabotaging, going on a “$5 million bender” before attempting to end his life.
“I had planned to do everything I wanted to do at that point in my life, spend as much money as I possibly could and then my plan was to take my life,” Manziel says in the documentary. “I wanted to get as bad as humanly possible to where it made sense, and it made it seem like an excuse and an out for me.”
Manziel had purchased a gun “months earlier” with the plan to use it to carry out death by suicide, but when he pulled the trigger, the gun malfunctioned.
“Still to this day, don’t know what happened. But the gun just clicked on me,” he says.
Manziel’s relationship with his family at the time was strained, in part because of his refusal to seek treatment. After the suicide attempt, he left Los Angeles and returned to his family’s home in Texas.
“It’s been a long, long road, and I don’t know if it’s been great or it’s been bad. That’s kind of still up for debate,” his father, Paul Manziel, says in the documentary. “But we’re blessed. And he’s still with us. And we can mend all the fences still. I think Johnny’s got a lot better days coming than what he’s had.”
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Paul Manziel told the Dallas Morning News in February 2016 that he feared his son would not see his next birthday if he didn’t seek help.
The documentary’s director, Ryan Duffy, told The Athletic that Johnny Manziel broached the suicide attempt while they were first talking about the project over dinners and video calls, before Manziel sat down for on-camera interviews.
“Sometimes things come up in that setting that you’re not sure they’ll want to revisit when all the lights are on, so to speak. And it didn’t seem like he even considered that. He was pretty much an open book,” Duffy said. “For us, once he was comfortable talking about that and rehab and the various other things he’s been dealing with over the last few years, I think it was a no-brainer to have it in the film because it really solidifies a little bit of what we all probably perceived as a struggle.”
“Untold: Johnny Football” is scheduled for release on Netflix on Aug. 8.
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(Photo courtesy of Netflix)
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